Once you have emotionally accepted a diagnosis of infertility it is wise to take some time out to carefully consider your next steps. You will have to consider what options you have, the treatments available, their success rates, their cost or possibly whether to consider an alternative path which does not involve treatment at all. Whatever your ultimate decision is it is likely that you will have trodden a long road to get there. A road often bumpy with many, potentially contradictory road signs is not one which inspires confidence in those who lives have already been blighted with the disappointment of not being able to successfully achieve and maintain a viable pregnancy as quickly as they thought. Infertility – information sourcesThere are a multitude of information sources that are offered to prospective fertility patients sometimes helping, sometimes promoting, sometimes promising and understandably this can create confusion and doubt. With this at the forefront of their minds a group of experienced fertility professionals have launched FertiAlly.com. Fertility questions answered by expertsFertiAlly.com is no-nonsense fertility platform designed to provide anyone affected by infertility access to leading practitioners via free, bite-size videos in response to questions posed by the patients themselves. No subject is off limit from questions relating to the emotional challenges people with infertility face to technical responses about specific treatments and work carried out in the IVF laboratory. The videos are freely available online from FertiAlly.com or from its dedicated YouTube channel. For the first time patients are able to view answers to pertinent questions from home. Aleksander Wiecki, one of its Founders explains the rationale, “We have assembled more than 100 leaders in the field of fertility; a list which is constantly growing, to respond to fertility questions and issues that are most important to patients. We cover everything from conditions such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and endometriosis which may be preventing someone getting pregnant to discussing different IVF ICSI treatment options and genetics. We wanted to create an online space which enabled us to bring professionals into the homes of those experiencing infertility and enable them to begin to plan their own fertility journey’s”. We provide comprehensive and balanced perspective on infertility issuesIf you take a look at the various questions posed on FertiAlly.com you will see that there is sometimes more than one answer from the resident professionals. This is key to the unique nature of the platform which allows viewers to receive opinions and thoughts from different experts which may differ. Rather than causing confusion the honesty and transparency reflects the complexity of infertility and illustrates the importance of personalised treatment. The emphasis is on allowing the patient introductory access to issues of importance whilst suggesting (without bias or promotion) a path to follow. Experts may for instance refer individual enquiries to specialist agencies or websites. Resident experts participate in FertiAlly.com in order to improve the overall patient experience of infertility, its diagnosis and potential treatment. They represent different countries (FertiAlly.com is an international site although all communication is conducted in English) and sometimes treatment providers. The information shared by the experts however is independent and does not promote their employer(s); advice and guidance is led by the science and viewers can be assured that the answers they receive are accurate and evidence based. Video content is balanced and its aim to ensure patients and prospective patients have sufficient information available to be able to make an informed decision about their fertility futures. Compare fertility experts’ opinions and treatment optionsThe platform is particularly useful for patients who are seeking an international perspective and one which allows them to compare opinions, treatment options and availability. Once again the site is not prescriptive, patients can not book treatment directly with any of the experts but it does provide an invaluable tool for assessing what help is available. In many ways, FertiAlly acts as a short cut in the fertility journey; it allows patients to skip to the points of the journey which are appropriate to them; enables them to gather specific information and signposts them to the next stage. The next stage may be the decision to choose a particular medic to discuss diagnosis; the type of treatment to consider or even identifying the specific treatment provider. With no waiting lists and complicated booking procedures patients can access FertiAlly.com from the comfort of their homes 24/7 and have instant access to information provided by recognised leaders in the field. By accessing the videos viewers will also be investing in fertility support for future patients. Each time is video answer is published FertiAlly.com will make a 5 Euro donation to the European Fertility Society (ESF). The Society is a not for profit organisation established to maintain the interests and safety of fertility patients via the creation of guidelines and documentation designed to promote best practice in the fertility field. Via https://fertilityroad.com/infertility-issues-fertially-experience/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/infertility-issues-fertially-signposting-with-experience
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Professor Geeta Nargund, Medical Director, CREATE Fertility and abc ivf As we start National Fertility Awareness Week, it is clear we need a radical rethink when it comes to UK family and fertility policies. Infertility affects one in seven heterosexual couples in the UK, and single women and same-sex couples require fertility assistance to start a family, yet despite the fact NICE recommends that all women under 40 should receive three cycles of publicly funded IVF only 12% of UK regions are able to meet this recommendation. This means that many women and couples struggling to conceive may not be able to access treatment or are forced to borrow funds in order to do so, which is unfair and only perpetuates social inequality. However I do not believe that this funding should fall to the NHS, who are already facing pressures on their finances that have been further stretched by the events of the last 18 months. Instead, the cost of funding IVF treatment should be shared amongst the Government departments who actually stand to gain most from an increased birth rate. The UK has long faced a declining birth rate and the Social Market Foundation recently warned that Britain’s baby shortage could lead to a “long-term economic stagnation” – a warning that I have been making for years. Children are essential to our economy, with research finding that a UK-born child’s lifetime economic value to be over £700,000 through tax and pension contributions. That figure that dwarfs the cost of funding IVF for those who need it (around £20,000). The Departments of Women & Equalities, Work & Pensions and the Treasury, who all stand to benefit most from an increased birth rate, should work collaboratively to bear the cost of creating our future taxpayers. By fundamentally rethinking how we approach, budget for and fund IVF, we are not only ensuring everyone has the opportunity to become a parent, but also supporting the future economic success of the UK. Increasing access to fertility treatment also contributes to promoting much needed diversity in our society. The UK Government also needs to assess how to better support people of all ages and family types to conceive – including heterosexual couples, single women and same-sex couples. This includes promoting fertility education in schools, introducing pro family initiatives, offering women better career protection post maternity leave, and also examining how we budget for and fund IVF treatment in the UK. For women who wish or need to freeze their eggs when they are younger, to preserve their fertility for the future, there is a critical need to make egg freezing more affordable and accessible so that women can freeze their eggs by their early thirties, in order to ensure the best quality eggs are preserved for the future. Finally, we must work as a sector to reduce the cost of IVF and make it more affordable for patients. The price of IVF can be high due to the use of unproven treatment “add-ons” as well as the high doses of stimulation drugs used in some clinics. We have worked at abc ivf for over a decade to achieve an affordable IVF price of £2,750 by using simplified patient pathways, cutting out unnecessary costs and appointments, and eliminating unproven add on’s. it is entirely possible to make successful IVF more affordable, and the entire sector should be focused on trying to achieve this, if we are to deliver equality in fertility in the UK. Via https://fertilityroad.com/flaws-in-funding-fertility-why-we-need-a-radical-rethink-in-how-we-approach-budget-for-and-fund-ivf-treatment/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/flaws-in-funding-fertility-why-we-need-a-radical-rethink-in-how-we-approach-budget-for-and-fund-ivf-treatment Meet Joanna and Alan Who Are Receiving IVF Treatment At Spanish Fertility Clinic UR Vistahermosa10/27/2021 We launched The Fertility Journeys Iniatieve in 2016 to help couples like Joanna and Alan who want to start a family and have come to a point where they a little extra care. We have always been passionate about help men and women start or extend their family and the fact they need medica Joanna and Alan applied to take part in our Fertility Journey in 2021 in the high of the global pandemic. They were lucky to be selected but like so many other parents to be they had to wait for lockdowns to end and borders to re-open. Being offered a life changing opportunity to receive free IVF treatment the couple were both excited but not being able to travel left them wondering if they had lost their chance to become parents. Thankfully the world has started to get back to normal and they have just returned from their first visit to UR Vistahermosa in Alicante and we wanted to find out more about the couple and the journey so far. We did a quick fire questions and answers to get to know Joanna and Alan Q: How did you and your husband meet? A: We were friends of friends, then saw each other at a nightclub, he asked for my number, he called the week after and we went out for our first meal, we carried on going to that restaurant each year until it closed down. Q: How long have you been together? A: 19 years Q: Have you always wanted children? A: Always! We got married when I was 24 and we starting trying straight away. Q. Do you both have large families? A: Yes, my mum has 11 other siblings with two sets of twins, mum being one of them, so I have lots of cousins. Alans mum/dad also has lots of siblings and cousins Q: How long were you together before you realised you were not getting pregnant? A: We tried for 1 year, then I called the doctor and saw our GP, they sent me for bloods to check my hormone levels which showed my levels really low and I had scans/ultrasounds which showed low egg reserve Q: Do either have you have any underlying issues ie PCOS, low sperm count etc. A: No, I just have low egg reserve and starting early menopause when I was approx. 33 Q: What is was like finding out you had been selected to receive treatment at with Vistahermosa? A: We were so overwhelmed, we were gobsmacked! My husband even thought it wasn’t real and might have been a scam, he couldn’t believe we had won something so amazing, we never in a million years thought we would be that lucky! Q: How have the clinic and staff how they treated/looked after you. A: They have been brilliant, Marta has been so friendly and gives us so much information, nothing is to much trouble for her. I am a worrier and email her constantly and she always comes back to me. Q: Obviously the COVID-19 pandemic put everything on hold so this must have been a strange time for you both. How have you coped? A: We were devastated that we couldn’t start the treatment ASAP, covid has been so stressful, we both work in our local hospital so we have been constantly busy. We wanted to fly over to the clinic when Spain went on Amber, but it didn’t work with our working schedule. But now we have been able to get an idea of a date we can fly, I have ordered all our medication and we are finally ready to book our flights, and we are so excited, it all feels real now! Q: With COVID still a huge part of our lives knowing you will have to travel to Spain must be unnerving for you. How do think this will affect how you feel about travelling for treatment. A: We are worried about catching covid before we go or even catching it while over in Spain, we are going to be scared being near lots of people but we need to do this as we need to start our IVF journey. If we don’t go now I worry when we can go back over. Q: I would imagine this is now an exciting/scary time for you both. Has this had any affect on your relationship? A: We are a very strong couple thank god, we have been through IVF for years and years, so we know how to manage our stress levels. We try to talk about things when they get stressful and throw ourselves in to work to keep us busy. We also have a little Dog Lola who has got us through so much over the years, she helps us a lot when we get stressed or upset. Q: What affect has the whole IVF process had your relationship and with your friends/family. A: Every time we say to family we are starting ivf again they worry as they know how hard its been on us when they have failed. They are supportive but they worry. For more Information about our Fertility Journeys visit https://fertilityroad.com/fertility-journeys Via https://fertilityroad.com/meet-joanna-and-alan-who-are-receiving-ivf-treatment-at-spanish-fertility-clinic-ur-vistahermosa/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/meet-joanna-and-alan-who-are-receiving-ivf-treatment-at-spanish-fertility-clinic-ur-vistahermosa TFP Nurture Fertility in Nottingham, today announces a special milestone occasion as it reaches its 30th anniversary and celebrates the birth of 7,478 babies since it opened in 1991 The fertility clinic on Bostocks Lane, is part of the TFP Fertility Group, one of the UK’s largest fertility services providers. Its success is down to understanding that becoming a mum or dad isn’t always easy and that sometimes, a little human help is needed. With over 35 years of experience, the TFP Fertility Group offers exceptional patient care, world-class success rates, clinical excellence and pioneering treatments, to help patients create the families they have always wanted. Leading the sector, TFP Nurture Fertility has produced 100 medical publications to communicate new research to help clinicians, and brought in over £1 million in research funding which helped establish the Academic Imaging Suite in 2009 with state-of-the art scanning facilities. “Reaching our 30th anniversary is a tremendous milestone for TFP Nurture Fertility,” said James Hopkisson, the UK Medical Director at TFP Nurture Fertility in Nottingham. “We have come far in the fertility sector and helped to create celebratory milestones for the industry. At TFP, we are striving to increase the research and development of the sector, including specialist areas such as IVF, which has seen significant growth in success rates since its inception over 30 years ago.” Medical Director Nick Raine-Fenning also comments, “With one in seven couples facing difficulties conceiving in the UK1, we hope to continue the work we have been doing over the past 30 years and build upon it, ensuring TFP is at the forefront of the industry with an exceptional team of clinicians and renowned European specialists.” As a group, TFP currently consists of 22 fertility clinics, eight of which are based in the UK, across six countries including Austria, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands and Poland. For over 35 years a group of more than 300 specialists, 200 of which are based in the UK, have been shaping the future of fertility by creating lives and changing lives, through the continuous development and improvement of reproductive medicine procedures. Pioneering the fertility sector for over 35-years, the TFP Fertility Group is one of the UK’s largest IVF providers and fertility specialists. Dedicated to offering exceptional care, understanding and expertise, TFP is committed to changing lives and creating lives. From IVF to fertility preservation and egg and sperm donation, TFP is renowned internationally and has nine clinics across the UK with over 200 clinicians. For more information about TFP Nurture Fertility please visit, www.tfp-fertility.com. Via https://fertilityroad.com/nottingham-fertility-clinic-celebrates-7500-babies-on-its-30th-birthdaytfp-nurture-fertility-opened-in-1991/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/nottingham-fertility-clinic-celebrates-7500-babies-on-its-30th-birthdaytfp-nurture-fertility-opened-in-1991 When you are trying to have a baby, things can be frustrating. It’s not easy to see everyone else having the thing that you want most, which is why you might be advised to make some lifestyle changes to boost your chances. Unfortunately, it’s just the way that it is that some people have it come easy, while others have to work a little harder. One of the things that might be recommended is that you pursue a healthier lifestyle together. In this article, we’re going to be taking a look at some of the things that you can do here, so keep reading if you would like to find out more. The first thing that we are going to recommend you do is eat better. The diet that you are currently consuming is important to your health. If you are constantly eating foods that are high in saturated fats and sugars this is not going to be healthy for you. We’re not saying this to be mean, but there has been research that has suggested that people who are overweight are less likely to naturally conceive. It’s true that this is not always the case, but if you are struggling with conception, this is certainly something that might help. Try to get as many vegetables in your diet as you can as these are important for maintaining health. Green vegetables such as broccoli are fantastic for your health, and you really want to be putting it in as many meals as possible. All vegetables are good though, so don’t miss out on getting some of them into your diet simply because they aren’t the green, leafy kind. Cut Out Stress An important part of remaining as healthy as you can is cutting out the stress in your life. Now, we know that the journey you are on right now is stressful, but you do need to eliminate as much stress as possible. As such, if there are things in your life that you know are stressing you out beyond belief, you want to take a step back where you can, and that goes for both of you. Stress changes your hormones so they are not what they are supposed to be. For example, if you are buying a new home with a home warranty and it is causing you all sorts of stress, try to make the process simpler. Do what you can to ensure that you still get what you want but without the massive ball of stress that comes with it. Your partner should be doing the same as their stress can also stress you out, causing the same impacts. Exercise Regularly How are you with being active? Being active is either a part of your lifestyle or it isn’t, and this means that you have got to make a change if the latter is true for you. Your body needs to be active in order to be as healthy as possible. You don’t want to become a couch potato who can hardly move because their limbs and muscles are not used often enough for this to be an option. If you think that we are exaggerating, we’re not. If you go too far with not exercising, this is exactly what is going to happen. Even if you start out with a walk every day and build it up from there, this is enough. You just need to dedicate yourself to doing this on a regular basis and stay consistent. Doing this walk together might motivate you to want to try new things, it will help pick you up when you’re down and give you time to talk without any other distractions. Emotional Support Finally, emotional support is essential. You need to work as a team and that means that you need to communicate. Emotional support should be freely offered, and taken when needed. You don’t always have to be strong, it’s okay to feel whatever you feel. We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you should be doing in order to remain healthy as a team. At this point, you are the most important person in each other’s lives. You are the ones who are going through this journey, and you are the ones who understand each other more than anyone else. It’s important that you work as a team and do all of the things on this list in order to maintain good health, increasing your likelihood of conceiving. We wish the very best of luck. Via https://fertilityroad.com/tips-for-working-out-and-eating-healthy-where-you-can/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/tips-for-working-out-and-eating-healthy-where-you-can I have just attended a fantastic two day Foundation Course for Infertility Counselling CPCAB Accredited (Counselling and Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body). This was run by the British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA). BICA is a registered charity and the only professional infertility counselling Association recognised by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) and the British Fertility Society in the UK. What struck me is how unique and multi-layered the role of an infertility counsellor is and it prompted me to want to share my thoughts and some of what I learnt. I do not claim to know all the facts nor have I included them all but my aim is to give a snapshot of how intense both the training and the role are. Attendees were encouraged to ask themselves a lot of questions which were aimed at opening up their minds to the multitude of difficulties facing those who are battling infertility. At times it became overwhelming to think and this gave an insight into the journey faced by many. I do not doubt that what is written below will trigger many feelings, some more painful than others. They are very real and despite acknowledging it will be hard to read and digest, I hope too that it may also bring relief and perhaps even give permission to own your feelings and know you are not alone in them. This in turn is one of the aims of therapy. The unspoken, unwanted and unwelcome feelings that accompany infertilityTo know that you, your partner or both are infertile is more than enough to have to come to terms with. Sadly, this is by no means the end of the battle ahead. To accompany this process are many feelings which are not always obvious at first and can creep up on you when you least expect it. This is why counselling is beneficial; counselling can help you make sense of your feelings. Feelings are explored in a safe environment and doing so can bring validation. Why do people want a baby? This may seem obvious to some, but in fact there are a multitude of reasons and it is interesting to explore some of these with your counsellor. In doing so, the importance of finding out why people want to have a child suddenly becomes very important. What I discovered is that there are in fact a whole range of reasons. I thought I would attempt to address some of the more obvious ones, before I share some perhaps less spoken about, maybe because they are harder to accept and admit to yourself that’s how you feel. Perhaps having read this you will feel less alone with your thoughts and take some comfort in knowing there are others out there who are feeling in a similar way. There is of course the biological drive to consider; that to a lot of couples, heterosexual and same sex, having a baby feels like the natural next step for them to take once they marry. To others, having a child may bring status and give them a purpose which perhaps before becoming a parent they felt was lacking in their life. It may also bring validation to a relationship, not to mention the unconditional love which we get from children. Having a child brings with it the rite of passage into parenthood and not achieving this in life may leave some feeling stuck in the role of somebody else’s child. I am aware that what I say may stir up a host of reactions in readers but I learnt the importance in gaining clarity for the reason(s) why a person wants to have a child. For example, if a couple want to have a baby to save a relationship, what support do they need in deciding whether having a baby is right for them at that time and how does one go about suggesting that perhaps couples counselling could be an option for them first to ensure they both want the same thing and for the right reasons. This is not to say they will not then go on and try to have a baby, but that they do this at a time that is right for them. Couples come to counselling wanting to expand their family due to cultural expectations. However they may be young and not quite ready to become parents, yet have come as a result of parental pressure. Exploring this in counselling offers a private space to share feelings which may feel shameful or hard to voice. There is a pressure on women to have children and women may succumb to societal expectations. They come for therapy filled with resentment which they have been unable to share and express. The potential damage this may do if these feelings are not thought about before embarking on the fertility process could be detrimental to both the mother and any future child or children she may have. Additionally the relationships she is currently in. Other women may feel the need to fill a void and think this can be achieved if they have a baby. Upon having a baby they soon discover this is not the case and counselling can help issues such as this arising. To some people having children becomes almost a hobby or dare I say an addiction. Being pregnant can bring a woman some sort of comfort or sense of purpose that it becomes something they need. The danger of this both to the mother’s body and any future children she may have becomes increasingly worrying with the frequency of her pregnancies. On the flipside, it is interesting to think about those who choose not to have children. There is a huge stigma attached to this. To some it is incomprehensible, perhaps even selfish, to want a career and for that to be more important than procreation. The journey through treatment Counsellors can support the clients through the journey, which will be extremely unique to each individual. The counsellor will follow the language of his/her client. They work respectfully in a non-discriminatory way, without expressing personal opinions. Their work involves helping clients make sense of how they are feeling, gaining a different perspective on their feelings in a non-judgemental way and helping them manage the enormity of the emotional load they are going through. Expressing opinion can influence decisions made by clients which is why this is discouraged. The thoughts spoken about in counselling must remain those of the client(s). Starting therapy A client who has been told they need to come for counselling needs to have some awareness of why they have been told to come. The counsellor must ensure not only that they know but that they understand what they need to know about the process. A personable approach is necessary in order for the counsellor to get to know the client. The counsellor will show interest, asking about their experience so far, when they started and how long they have been trying for so far. What is important, if it is a couple, is that both of the couple answer the questions. The counsellor needs to develop an understanding of what it means to each of them and how emotionally prepared they are, as well as be alert to signs of trauma. Sensitive but necessary questions Clients come full of mixed emotions. Aware of this, counsellors still need to broach topics which are incredibly sensitive but important to think about. This must be done with sensitivity, in a gentle and caring manner. What is important is that the counsellor must be robust, so that the client is able to not only think about what is being asked but answer it. Counsellors need to think with their clients about how many treatments they may consider. The implication being that it might not work straight away, something which is hard but necessary to think about. Even more difficult to approach is asking if they have ever envisaged life without children. There is no knowing the reaction a question such as this will be met with. A counsellor needs to remain curious about the impact the fertility issues have had on a couples’ sexual relationship and sexual functioning. These are highly personal questions but must be addressed in order to get as full a picture as possible. Layers of issues This is not written with the intention of overwhelming you, but to open your mind. Counsellors may ask how you intend to approach telling work about your fertility issues. Some people wish to remain private. There are implications to consider with both approaches. It is the job of the counsellor to help their client manage their expectations. This involves taking into account the patients’ perspective. Counsellors listen to their clients to gauge where they are at on their journey. In order to feel listened to, counsellors will reflect back to the client and help them think about where they are at and what the best approach is for them to take in order to move on with their journey. Infertility counselling encourages couples express their feelings to each other. Seeing the impact of not sharing their feelings in the presence of a counsellor can help untangle issues between a couple and help them feel more connected and ready for the journey they face. Counsellors must consider gender issues. It is not always but often the case that men are more able to envisage life without children. This demonstrates there are so many factors to consider in the work as a fertility counsellor. Short term/long term Although a great deal can be achieved in short term work, a counsellor with limited sessions must be cautious in their approach. They must consider the frequency with which they see somebody to be able to focus on the therapeutic work significantly. In addition, the counsellor must be aware of the limitations of their role. It may be frustrating for a counsellor who is only given one session to work with a couple, as this feels rushed and impossible to cover all the ground they wish. Being left with this frustration, it is important they have an awareness of how they feel, as well as an outlet for these emotions. The emotional impact on
Many difficult emotions are brought to counselling. Counsellors will discuss a clients’ expectations with them and help them manage these. If they have suffered a loss they can help reframe expectations into part of the grieving process. The aim is to help people understand the reasons for why they are behaving the way they are. For example, they may feel a changed person due to sadness or jealousy. Others may worry about becoming bitter. It is the role of the counsellor to help put these issues into perspective. That they are feeling the way they do as a result of what they are going through. One cannot underestimate the impact this can have. To know that in fact, what they are feeling is to be expected. The role of a counsellor is crucial in helping people feel they are not alone. The support and guidance that can be offered is invaluable and can really change peoples’ perspectives and approach to their fertility struggles.
As well as the client needing support, so too does the counsellor. BICA offers regional groups, training workshops, conferences and informal networks. It is also the responsibility of the counsellor to be aware of new developments and explore and reflect on current issues. Additionally, counsellors attend supervision, giving them an essential outlet in which to take feelings which have been stirred up for them. Counsellors talk to clients about the importance of self-care, which they too must practise. Not only does this model good practise but it helps them too fulfil their role in a more productive manner. It is a coping strategy which often gets dismissed due to lack of time. However, once boundaries are employed and clients have identified what might work for them, it ca help people cope. The counsellor will explain that in order to try and make the process work, self-care is vital. This in turn offers a client validation which they may not get elsewhere. Knowing the facts It is also the responsibility of the counsellor to know about egg and sperm donation as well as surrogacy. Getting to the point at which an egg or sperm donor is needed is really tough. A counsellor will think alongside the client(s) what it was like when it was suggested to them, how they feel about it and how they coped with the suggestion. It may not be that it was suggested and this then too can be thought about. It may mean something different to them if it was not suggested but a decision which came from them. Again, sensitive questions must be considered. What are their thoughts about using a donor, what they think it might be like. There is also the fact that the baby will not look like them, something which they might not have reached the point of realising. The counsellor must be mindful of this yet remain open to helping them think of all these factors. There are also legal rights both as parents and donors which the couple must be aware of. It is crucial that they are well informed. For example in relation to future contact with the donor and their family once the child is over eighteen. All this must be explored in advance. The donor too can withdraw consent right up to when the embryo is implanted which can have devastating effects on the prospective parents. The clients may know their donor, not know their donor or even choose to go overseas. This too has legal implications, all of which an infertility counsellor needs prior knowledge and understanding of. The process of finding a donor and then being matched with them can be lengthy and emotionally exhausting too. The HFEA Code of Practise offers guidance as to what must be discussed and guidelines which must be adhered to. The counsellors’ job involves exploring the impact of this information. One example is related to telling and talking. This refers to telling the child their origin early in childhood because if they are not told it can be emotionally damaging. Throughout this process, the couple can be supported and guided by their infertility counsellor. The counsellor must do this with an awareness of the culture, faith and societal background of the clients as this will influence their capacity to discuss the issue with their child. If it is a prospective donor who is being offered counselling, the counsellor must ensure they ask their motivations for becoming a donor. There will be psychosocial and generational differences for this. The expectations a donor has of their recipients must also be explored. There are then implications regarding the legal rights of the children the donor has prior to becoming a donor. Surrogacy is even more complex due to the fact that it involves more people and more families. There are many religious implications too. As I mentioned earlier, I do not intend to cover all the facts. Merely to point of how much responsibility lies with becoming an infertility counsellor. Ending counselling This can have an enormous emotional impact on both the client and counsellor. It will also vary depending on whether treatment has had the desired outcome or not. The amount of attempts to achieve this will also play a role in the feelings stirred up at the end of treatment. Some people will have a perspective on ending, whilst other just do not. It is the job of the counsellor to support their client to cope with this ending as best they can an in the way in which is right for them, taking into account that everybody’s experience is different. Final thoughts The job of an infertility counsellor can be extremely rewarding. To embark on a journey alongside a couple and watch them achieve their dream is very special. However it also involves watching and in turn helping many people bear much heartache and disappointment. The responsibility of making sure yourself as the counsellor is up to date on the latest developments as well as the clients is paramount. For these reasons and many more it is not a career to choose to embark upon lightly but must be done so with great thought, ensuring just as the clients require a strong support network in place, you too as the counsellor have the same. Via https://fertilityroad.com/the-path-to-and-through-infertility-counselling/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/the-path-to-and-through-infertility-counselling “I think you need to grieve the life you expected”. The words of my coach resonated deeply. I habitually crack on and get on with things as a way of preventing me from feeling. Feeling some of the pains of life. It also prevents me from feeling the joys of life. This is a subject not often talked about and I unpack it in my podcast episode here. Life often doesn’t go the way we expect. Things happen we don’t like or want. We can start to resent our circumstances. Or be jealous of others who seem to get what they want in life. This is of course very much true for infertility but also for any aspect of life. There is so much of my life I enjoy and am grateful for. However, it hasn’t gone as I expected. There are things, including our infertility journey (including secondary infertility) that have taken our life in a different course than I expected. I had worked through our fertility grief but not recognised the grief in other aspects of life. We are often unconsciously comparing life with our expectations. As a result, we can start to resist reality. That gets uncomfortable. It creates dis-ease within us. Behind it, is a belief that we need things to be different to be happy. That we need our expected/planned life to be happy, content or free. What if we could surrender to life and know there is an energy behind life that has got our back. That knows us and loves us and perhaps is leading us to the feelings for contentment, safety and freedom in an unexpected way? What if we can trust this energy and relax on the journey? It doesn’t mean we don’t have goals and aspirations, it means we hold them more lightly. Knowing we don’t need them to be safe, happy or content. “We must let go of the life we planned to accept the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell We didn’t plan to have an only child. However, it has given a depth of relationship we couldn’t have with more than one. We trust it is what our son’s soul needed for his journey. And us too. Life can feel really sh*tty. When life feels tough I am reminded of this wonderful metaphor from Michael Neill. Imagine that you are riding on a giant barge, floating gently down a beautiful river. In the very centre of the barge is a giant roller coaster, and your seat for the journey is in the front car. As the river carries the barge downstream, the roller coaster goes up and down, pausing every now and again before climbing its way to the next peak or plunging its way down into the valleys. At times it spins wildly, completely disorienting you; at other times you find yourself resting in the pause before the next ride. Now imagine that your whole life, you had ridden the coaster with your eyes closed, believing that the roller coaster was the world and the river only a myth. What would happen the first time you opened your eyes and kept them open for every moment of the ride? At first, you might be a bit disoriented and even frightened as you watched yourself and others go up and down and round and around at occasionally dizzying speeds. The first time you crested the heights of the coaster and saw the river clearly in all its glory, you would be so taken by the view that you would never want it to end. And when your revelation was followed by a plunge to the bottom of your world it might seem like all was lost. But over time, you would begin to relax into the ride, spending less and less time trying to manage the ups and downs and more and more time enjoying the views along the way. You’d take comfort in the fact that no matter what was going on with the roller coaster, the river was always effortlessly supporting the barge along its journey. And you might even begin to enjoy pondering the mysteries of where the river came from, how you came to be on it, and where it might be taking you… In the depths of the rollercoaster of this journey, I hope you can begin to hold on to the idea of a loving energy holding you and gently leading you to a place of freedom, contentment and peace perhaps in ways you hadn’t imagined. We see one piece the jigsaw of life, it sees the whole picture. I unpack this further on my podcast here. Loving you, Via https://fertilityroad.com/grieving-the-life-you-expected/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/grieving-the-life-you-expected It’s a pandemic. The world is in chaos, and all you can do is hope that the government has everything under control. But what about you? What if your family gets sick from this virus? Well, here are some simple rules for you to follow during this time of crisis: Get VaccinatedVaccination is one of the measures that helps prevent the virus. Vaccination is a medical treatment, but does not cure or protect from disease 100%. However, it can reduce symptoms, the severity of illness and spread to others around you. Wear MasksMasks are the best way to prevent the transmission of viruses. They are especially advisable if you live or spend a lot of time with someone who is sick and during public transportation and in enclosed spaces such as shopping centers or cinemas. Ensure that you buy your masks well in advance and carry extra KN95 masks in your bag if you lose them. If possible, it is also advisable to avoid crowded places where people have respiratory tract infections, which usually means areas with large numbers of people. Carry Your Sanitizer ThroughoutEnsure you never go anywhere without your sanitizer. Always carry it with you and use it multiple times if necessary. You can even apply the solution to any surface that looks like an appropriate place for germs because flu viruses are everywhere. If someone is coughing or sneezing around you, don’t be afraid to use more of your hand sanitizer. Wash Your Hands RegularlyIf you happen to be in contact with a sick person, immediately wash your hands. If bodily fluids have contaminated something from someone ill, disinfect it as soon as possible before someone else touches it. Please do not touch your eyes, nose, or mouth before you have properly washed your hands and avoid touching the face of young children to prevent them from getting sick too. Also, wash and disinfect the child’s toys to prevent the virus from spreading further into the family. Invest in a COVID Care PackageCovid care package is a simple kit that includes face masks, hand sanitizers and other disposable products. It is going to help you keep safe during the ongoing pandemic. No one knows what will happen next. The best thing right now is to be ready for whatever may occur in the upcoming weeks or months. A covid care package can make all the difference. Travel When NecessaryIt is essential to travel when necessary, even if it means you need to take pandemic precautions. However, just like during any other regular trip, there are some considerations you should take so that you do not compromise your health from being exposed to potentially life-threatening viruses. In the case of this pandemic, you need to be particularly careful when it comes from the flu. During this period, your immune system can become very weak and susceptible to getting infected by a virus that could prove deadly if you don’t take care of it immediately with proper medical attention. Isolate if You Get the VirusIf you have a fever, stay home. If there is any chance of exposure to the virus, wear a mask and gloves when going outside. Also, ensure that you wash your hands and change clothes before going home to care for a patient. It is essential to remain calm during this pandemic as it will be challenging for the family. To avoid exposure, use face masks when around people with respiratory symptoms such as coughing or sneezing. Avoid Crowded PlacesYou should avoid crowded places for now because it can be dangerous, especially during this covid pandemic. If you are visiting someone who is sick, then please wear a mask. It will reduce the risk of spreading illness to others, and it might help protect against infection, too. Do not go out if you do not have to because it could be dangerous for your health. If there’s an emergency at work or school, then ensure you’ve your mask on before leaving. Disinfect All SurfacesDuring this ongoing pandemic, you need to disinfect all surfaces you encounter. Most people know that it is advisable to disinfect your hands. For example, if someone touches a surface such as a door handle and touches their eyes or nose without first washing their hands properly, they can quickly spread germs and disease. Therefore, you need to disinfect all surfaces after touching them. Cook Your Food ProperlyIt is the number one rule to keep yourself safe. Bacteria can contaminate food from raw meats and unwashed fruits or vegetables, so it’s crucial to cook your entire meal thoroughly before ingesting anything. Also, never eat food that’s been out without covering for more than two hours. Always refrigerate your meals after you prepare them, and especially before eating any of them. You can also use a thermometer when cooking meat to ensure that the insides are at least 165°F or higher. The United States Department of Agriculture also recommends that you cook your food at at least an internal temperature of 145°F for 15 seconds. Don’t consume raw or undercooked meat, egg products, fish, or shellfish either because this increases the chances of getting sick from bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella, which you can find on these foods before they are ready. Likewise, don’t drink unpasteurized milk and juice or eat soft cheeses like Feta, Brie, Camembert, which can contain Listeria bacteria if the packaging is damaged even a little bit. ConclusionThe pandemic is still ongoing, so it’s unpredictable how long it will be until the situation changes. There’s nothing much to do but wait and see what happens next. For now, everyone should stay calm and follow a few easy guidelines for staying healthy while traveling or working in a high-risk area. If you travel a lot or have a business in a high-risk area, it may be worth your while to invest in some vaccinations and other preventative medications that can help keep you safe from infection. Via https://fertilityroad.com/simple-rules-on-how-to-keep-safe-during-the-ongoing-pandemic/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/simple-rules-on-how-to-keep-safe-during-the-ongoing-pandemic Having a wife that is trying to get pregnant can be difficult for some men. She might go through many different cycles of fertility treatments and medications, which require you to watch her diet, drink plenty of water, abstain from alcohol, and more. If you want to be supportive while also maintaining your own health, read this article on how to stay healthy while supporting your wife in your fertility journey! #1 Get regular exerciseWhile you might be tempted to skip your workout in favor of spending more time with your wife, exercise is essential for both men and women trying to conceive. Working out also increases blood flow, and you find a whole host of additional benefits on https://steelsupplements.com/blogs/steel-blog/how-to-get-big-pecs-and-why-you-want-them. In addition, being active boosts levels of serotonin and dopamine, which may be beneficial when trying to conceive. #2 Add antioxidants to your daily dietAntioxidants are chemicals found in plant foods that may help neutralize free radicals, who are molecules generated by everyday metabolism and environmental factors like sun exposure. While studies on antioxidants haven’t shown a direct benefit to fertility, there’s some evidence that sperm cells exposed to oxidative stress (caused by excessive free radicals) have trouble swimming. #3 Limit your alcohol intakeWhile it is well known that excessive alcohol consumption can damage your liver, kidneys, and brain—all of which are important for fertility health! Drinking too much may also affect the quality of sperm cells. If you really want to impress her on date night, avoid alcohol entirely until after she’s pregnant – this way, you’ll also be showing your support and not leaving her alone on the journey towards conceiving. #4 Manage stress levelsWhile it’s great to be involved in your wife’s pregnancy, you don’t want to take on too much of the stress. Stress can affect sperm count and motility—how well a cell moves toward an egg during fertilization. When your body is stressed, it produces cortisol—a hormone that reduces blood flow to the genitals. This can result in more sluggish swimmers or lower numbers of mobile ones! Stress may also increase levels of prolactin—a chemical linked with reproductive problems like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which affects how a woman’s ovaries release eggs each month. Sometimes it may feel almost impossible to stop stressing, but you can try by practicing mindfulness, as well as focusing on all the positive things in your life and getting a good night’s sleep every day. #5 Stay positiveWhile you might not be able to control your wife’s fertility journey, it’s important to stay positive throughout the entire process. It might sound easier said than done, especially if you’ve been trying for a while without any luck, but supporting each other as well as encouraging one another to stay optimistic will go a long way on the days when things are tough. By utilizing the above tips, you’ll be doing everything you can from your side in order to maximize you and your wife’s chances of conceiving. Via https://fertilityroad.com/how-to-stay-healthy-while-supporting-your-wife-in-your-fertility-journey/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/how-to-stay-healthy-while-supporting-your-wife-on-your-fertility-journey Ahead of Growing Families London & Dublin seminars on 2/3 October on international Donor IVF and Surrogacy options, Sam Everingham interviews one recent couple who created family across borders during the Covid pandemic For UK nationals unable to locate an egg donor locally, countries like Greece, Spain and Czech Republic have been popular options. However Ukraine is also becoming a more popular destination not just for egg donor IVF but surrogacy given the availability of surrogates and affordable high quality IVF. Surrogacy made Michelle & Kevin Bedingfield’s dream of a family possible. When they commenced, Covid didn’t exist. They engaged in Ukraine given Michelle met the medical requirements and the prices were within reach for a middle class couple approaching fifty years of age. Then quite unexpectedly, the world became a very different place. Their agency ran into financial trouble and they had to locate a new agency to support their pregnant surrogate. How did you decide to progress?‘It was important to make an informed decision. Growing Families played a key role in laying out all the options. They were there to give us background and up-to-date information on the how-to parts Q: Did you form a relationship with your surrogate?‘We made a friend for life, and we will follow her children as they grow up, just as she will see our son grow. It was rewarding to know that we helped our surrogate to achieve her dreams just as she was doing for us’. What gave you the strength to keep going when things became tough?Each other and a good dose of humour! We both wanted to have a child and we had to be there for each other when things didn’t go to plan. There are a lot of ups and downs along the way. This journey does not happen quickly. When you needed to switch agencies, what did your new agency emphaise?‘It was important that our surrogate was included in the decision-making process. She wanted to try for a natural birth, and she also chose a public hospital for the birth that had a very good reputation’. Were you able to be at the birth?We arrived just the day before our baby was born. We had our own apartment-style rooms within the hospital and the care we received was outstanding. I was just outside the operating theatre when Harrison was born. With the easing of restrictions, Kevin was allowed to room in also. What is Kiev like to stay in for an English speaker?Wonderful! We met many people. …. we would just chat and be interested in their lives and soon we had new friends from a different culture. Many Ukrainians know some English and we began to learn Ukrainian! But what was it like being in Ukraine during Covid 19?When we arrived in Kyiv, we were in lockdown but soon enough, restrictions were lifted. We were just mindful of taking care when out and about. What would you advise other couples considering Ukraine as a destination?it is imperative that you have a team that can assist at all stages. Louise from Nest and Co was an absolute saviour. We are not sure if we would have stuck it out if not for her exceptional knowledge, advocacy and accessibility. She is just a lovely, genuine person who was there for us when we didn’t have the strength. Louise’s team in Kiev were amazing – we never felt like we were alone in a foreign country. What was the hardest part?The biggest hurdle was returning home. But we made it – all three of us. In early October, Growing Families London & Dublin Events will feature multiple parents discussing their family building journeys. These seminars provide insight into the processes, hurdles, costs, latest developments and ultimate joys. In this series, expert speakers focus on options in the USA, Ukraine, Canada & Georgia. Growing Families is an information and referral hub for singles and couples hoping to build their family with the help of donor IVF and/or surrogacy. Via https://fertilityroad.com/surrogacy-stories-from-the-frontline/ Via https://fertilityroad.weebly.com/blog/growing-families-surrogacy-stories-from-the-frontline |